Day 43: Adjusting to hotel life

Last night I think I slept maybe an hour. If I did it was a very light stage of sleep ready for the slighest noise to wake me up. I think I trust the nanny enough I can maybe sleep more tonight. The funny thing is I'm not tired. I crammed in 1 hour this and had a dream so it was a decent sleep. I'm much more relaxed than I was yesterday, but still every cell in my brain that has learned to be hypervigilant is now on overdrive. I keep telling myself to sleep and they are okay and my alarm will wake me for feedings if no one else or the babies don't. Mom and the nanny want me to nap but I know that ain't happening at the moment so I'll blog instead for a bit while Mom has the nanny dyeing her hair. She also had her cook us some food to make extra money, and it tastes homeade and is awesome. Mom also had a nurse hook me up with bartha yesterday. YUM!!! Mom's got the hookup. She's the gal in prison that can get you things. Either that or the fact that she speaks the language is a major bonus in getting stuff done.

I need to take more pics, but for today I only have three. The first is them all packaged up to go to Dr. Amin's for a followup. In 3 weeks whether here or in the US I need one more follow up with a retinal surgeon to make sure all continues to go well. He gave me a write up to pass on to the next doctor.



After too long of a wait and being overcharged, finally the dilation drops set in and we go inside. No escape to the waiting room this time. Vivek cried like he was being tortured, but Tara only cried a bit for the same checkup. The pointy things being poked at my babies eyes didn't totally freak me out, but a tear leaked out the corner of my eye. Mom did not look like she was taking it well and stared at the ceiling while he screamed. But the checkup said all is well, so that is good news!

The guy who is delivering our luggage by train is coming tomorrow between 12-1 so after a struggle I've packed up the less essential stuff for shipping. It is HARD to cut back to so little but let's hope it all works out. If the luggage doesn't arrive we can survive, but it won't be posh and we'd have to purchase a lot. I'll just have to trust it will all get there. But the amount of luggage we are taking on the plane is much more doable with two babies in tow.

I did call Dr. Kothiala today to verify the calcium supplement dosage was given to me correctly because it seemed rather high and exceeded dosage limits for infants on the bottle, but she assured me 5mL is correct because they were premature.

Let me just say on a 2 hour feeding schedule the feeling is "didn't we JUST feed them!" every time the odd hours roll around. When Miss Tara catches up to her brother we can transition to 3 hour schedule and that will be a dream compared to this. Master Vivek is quite a vocal boy, and likes to grunt like a man often. It worries Mom that he is so grunty, but I don't think it is anything to worry about so far. Tara is peaceful and only makes tiny coos most of the time...but she toots like I cannot believe.

I love love love dressing them up so much now. They are sooooo cute out of those ugly NICU outfits that I am NOT taking with me. Here are some pics of today's outfits, and I'm getting better at giving drops without them drooling the bright medicine colors onto the outfits. I also haven't gotten anything peed on except diapers today, so no clothes changes today! Here are pics of them in their little sleepers. Vivek may be hatless from now on because twice he has somehow pulled it onto his face and cried. It scared me, but he just can't seem to keep a hat on and I don't want to risk it anymore. Hers stay on pretty well with only occasional adjustments.

As a final note: I am homesick. When I think about seeing my husband again I get really emotional. I think it will all be so much easier to bear when we are together again. I wish my mother were here too. It is still very hard doing this in a hotel room in a poor dusty town on the other side of the planet, but I'm trying to celebrate the little moments and just enjoy my babies and not let all the little to do's to get them home get in the way.

I keep rehearsing things because I know the sleep deprivation could cause me to forget something important. Hence me forgetting to bring hand sanitizer and nipples for the bottles I brought to the doctor's office this morning. I re-read some docs the embassy sent us and learned we need a photo of myself and the hubby and not just the babies, and the hospital staff are charging us 1600 rupees X3 people to take a freaking cheek swab, and we have to jump through hoops to get it paid via bank draft. That complicates the day before the appointment unless family can help us do that with ease. Tomorrow no doctor appts and just running to get a prescription and then getting passport photos scheduled.  It should be a more relaxing day and I plan to take more pictures and bond.


Tara always looks like she is making gang signs to me




Vivek cheering that Mommy is sucking a little bit less today