Day 51: Getting aquainted

Today Daddy got to know the babies a bit better, and worked on his skills. He did his very first diaper change. I think it lasted about 20 minutes. He also did his 2nd bottle feed with Vivek, who due to an error by Dadima was dressed in girl clothes. I realized as soon as I walked in and called him Princess that something was horribly wrong. At least it didn't break my vow for him to never wear pink again.


Daddy very focused and serious conducting his first diaper change





Daddy doing his second bottle feed

As I expected I had a mini-meltdown today over the fact that Vinnie forgot to bring our old passports as proof of residency for the embassy appointment tomorrow and that he accidentally purchased the wrong formula due to miscommunication and due to damage in shipping we lost 1 can of preemie formula and will run out early. I started stressing out over our embassy appointment tomorrow and all the paperwork we had to do, and all the instructions I had to re-read to make sure nothing was missed. I think most of it was severe sleep deprivation combined with the fact that for 50 days I had to be the strong one, and now that Vinnie is here I can finally break down and little and let him take the lead. I decided to give myself a double shot of baby therapy to ease my anxiety and exhaustion, and it worked like a charm. Vinnie was very impressed with my ability to walk around with a baby slung over each shoulder. We later each took a baby and went for a nice evening walk in the park across the street, and Tara slept through it while Vivek seemed to enjoy the bird noises and fresh air and new sights and smells.

 


But the best moment of the day  (er...night) was around 5:30 am when Vivek would not stop crying. To help Vinnie catch up on sleep I'd done most of the feedings by myself and also stayed up late going over embassy papers. During the 3am feeding the previous day I had woken him up and he startled and said "What?" when I stood in front of him with a screaming baby boy.  I just glared at him and handed over his son. I think it took him a second to remember he is now a Daddy and this was our new life as we know it. Anyway, this time Vinnie got up around 5:30 after a good 7 hours sleep and took Vivek into the living room to help me get a little sleep. However, he still wouldn't stop crying. Finally I got up after about 10 minutes and went in there, and in my exhaustion I just took the baby right from Vinnie hoping I could work so magic so I could get back to bed. I was amazed! The second he was in my arms he stopped crying instantly. Vinnie was happy for me and I was overwhelmed to realize for the first time that they really do recognize me as their Mommy. I laid down on the couch on my back with Vivek on his stomach on my chest, and together we took the best nap I've ever had.

Day 37: 5 days and counting

Today was uneventful, but after yesterday that is absolutely fine with me. Vivek has some swollen eyes, but he is already opening them sooner than I expected. Dr. Amin checked on him and said all is well. They've been moved to the far end of the NICU and Petra's baby and 2nd baby just born by her 2nd surrogate have been moved to the other room. I'm SO grateful because it was getting crowded with Mommies and Grandmothers because we often visited at the same time. Now I have so much more room to cuddle my chipmunks.

Vivek was a little cranky today overall, but who can blame the little guy. I was pretty cranky too had an upset stomach all day so only got in one visit, but Dadima took good care of them for me and made sure Vivek got some of the breast milk I had pumped. Mom was a trooper putting up with all the crankiness and then like a saint she waited in the lobby while I napped so as not to disturb me. I felt so bad she went to those lengths. We had lunch at Decent Restaurant and at night finally felt up to doing more laundry. She talked to the manager about the construction upstairs and insisted the banging stop by 8pm, and he agreed. Way to go! I'm learning that Mom is quite insistent on good hotel service and food being prepared to her specifications, and she will see to it.


Poor Vivek looks like he just left a boxing ring




Dadima reassuring Tara her brother is fine

 It is getting so incredibly hard to leave them at the NICU with each passing day, to the point I am almost angry and feeling pent up every time I walk out the doors. I'm sure this is normal, but I would give anything for a punching bag or a treadmill and running shoes to work out my frustrations. Only 5 days left!

Day 32: Monkey lips

Mom enjoyed her first Rama Residency buffet breakfast, save the chai tea she made them make three times over because it was too strong..though it still wasn't right. She is looking for tea bags now to make her own.  We bought some snacks to have more things on hand and avoid eating out, and I restocked my stockpile of Parle-G cookies (biscuits). Now that Mom is here the phone rings off the hook with Guddi Aunti and Mon Uncle calling, and of course Subhash calling 5 times in a row when we didn't answer because we were eating breakfast.

Mom video chatted with him and I'm hoping has finally convinced him the babies are healthy and fine, because they truly are but people think I'm only telling them not to worry but not telling them something bad. I thought the same thing of Dr. Kothiala until I arrived and realized that things really were going as well as she had said over the phone. We have honestly had the easiest time of anyone I've ever heard of in NICU whose babies were born as early as ours, and many that were born later. We are beyond lucky, and while there are scary moments they have all been well within the range of normal or even better than could be expected at the stage of development they are at. I'm truly blessed, and have never lost sight of how much worse so many things could have gone. Once bottle feeds go smoothly without any A's and B's I'll be one happy camper and mostly relaxed about caring for them on our own. Mom saw her first today and it scared her, but it is a new normal everyone must adjust to in the NICU and eventually will go away and be a distant memory.



Vivek sticks his tongue out at those who doubt his mightiness




Tara is equally as disgusted at those who doubt her powers

 I was also right in my prediction that Petra's baby would be discharged before mine, because despite initial difficulties he is at a better stage of development at 35 weeks. We are ending week 33 right now. Vivek is 1605 grams and Tara is 1560, making him just over 3 1/2 pounds and her just under. He is much better at bottle feeding, but she is only slightly better. I'm preparing myself for him to come home before her. I keep saying "come home" because "coming to the hotel" sounds wierd. This is definitely not home, but they fixed the door today so at least I don't have to slam my hip into the door swollen by humidity in order to push it open.

Mom thinks that Vivek has tiny little lips "like a girl" and that they both are so tiny and look "like little monkeys."  Wanted to record those comments for posterity so I can give her a hard time about saying it later in front of her grandchildren.



Monkey Tara foreground Monkey Vivek background




Vivek thinking hard about...




Princess annoyed with Mommy's picture taking






Dadima does kangaroo care with Tara for the first time

 Dadima was our hero today, because Petra and I were annoyed at how loud the nurses were. This is typical, but anyone could tell they were arguing about something. Petra says the other day Sandia and Daxa were arguing and Daxa looked like she was about to cry. Mom could see how distressed we were about their loud arguing, so much that Petra and I couldn't hold a conversation. So Mom told them that they needed to stop arguing in front of the babies in a very polite but assertive way, lest her grandchildren learn to argue from them. They quieted down after that and we were both very appreciative! I don't know what all the politics are around there, but they need to quit all the infighting. Everyone seems to work hard and pull their weight for the most part, so I wonder what they have to argue about.

Vivek and his "girlie lips"



We ended the day by shopping in the big market, and I kept Mom from getting lost. We finally scored some tea bags and her favorite biscuits and a small pot to cook and warm leftovers in. No petticoats because they only sell white ones here apparently. We had a another visit to the NICU, and a fun time doing kangaroo care. I had my best feed ever with Tara with only one minor de-sat, and Mom was able to feed Vivek and had an easier time. She is much more relaxed about handling the babies...it takes a day or two to gain confidence handling small babies. They only gained 5 grams apiece today, which is a little disappointing for her but no surprise for him since he had two big gain days.  Afterwards we had a nice meal at Decent Restaurant, and she likes it as much as me and we have enough leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

Day 31: Dadima is here!

It was a happy day indeed. We were both tired, me because I was so excited I barely slept. After a shower and breakfast I walked Dadima over to meet her grandchildren.

At 3 1/2 pounds they are both so much bigger when I first saw them, but I wasn't surprised that her reaction was the same as mine. "They're so tiny!!!"  But they are healthier than most babies in NICU and just need to keep growing and bottle feed a bit better before they can come home.



Dadima holds Tara for the very first time

Dadima holds Vivek for the first time

We had a lovely lunch at the Laksh hotel with Petra and her mother and made a trip to Seven Eleven, then back to the hotel for a nap for me and a very short nap for Mom who is trying to adjust her body to India time. We got hit with a lot of rain, so I need to remember to always bring my umbrella even when it is slightly overcast. She made it through one more evening visit and then crashed out at 8:30. I was so tired I crashed soon after and am playing blog catchup.



Dadima holds Tara the first time



Dadima and Tara



 

Tara and Dadima's hand





Dadima holding Vivek




Vivek and Dadima's hand

A very, very happy day. So glad to have company finally. Mom can watch Indian movies and tell me what's happening. (If Dad was here he would watch English movies yet still tell me what's happening) All the new supplies Mom brought are stacked up, and with luck we should have all the diapers and wipes we could want until we leave. We are ready to bring home some babies, and I'm getting more impatient everyday waiting...but they will tell us when they are ready.



Day 30: Company's Coming

So excited! An eventful day, and the room is all cleaned up for my mother-in-law to arrive early tomorrow morning. 

Mr. Vivek is gaining weight at a very fast rate and is 1570 grams, or just shy of 3 1/2 lbs. I guess I should stop worrying so much that he is such a wiggleworrm, because he is not suffering for his aerobic activities. Tara is 1510, so she finally crossed the 1500 milestone. I've noticed that Vivek is more active than ever, and Tara more alert. They both cry more and louder. Vivek has a cry that is like nails on a chalkboard at times, and despite the urgency of it is usually a small discomfort. Given how tiny their cries used to be, I typically look around to see which baby is crying before I finally realize it is mine.


Tara gearing up to cry for her bottle



Vivek waiting for the other ball to drop

The big news is that one of Vivek's testicles descended!!!  One down, one to go. Petra and I were joking today about how in the NICU we celebrate the oddest things that others take for granted. It was on the same side his hernia was on, so hopefully it closed most the hole and he will no longer have any hernias to worry about. We'll have to see how long it takes, but sometimes it can take a few months for a testicle to descend. At that point we'll be more certain about hernias and any related problems.

Tara threw up a bit on my chest today. And in other news the inevitable happened and Vivek began peeing mid-diaper change. I had been warned about this yet I got complacent and was not ready to block the flow. He peed all over his leg and the sheets, and I had to ask the nurse to change them. She shook her head at me. Rookie move.

My surrogate randomly showed up today to look in on the babies. Again it surprised me, because given her lackadaisical attitude towards pumping it didn't seem that she felt as connected to them. She doesn't seem to be money seeking, so I'll try to relax a bit. When my mother in law is here to translate a conversation might be more possible. I very briefly said hello, and explained that that it would be over a week before the babies were released and I would call her as promised so that she could see them and say goodbye. I wonder if this was the sole reason she ventured here from Ahmedabad.

The best  news for the day is that Petra's son Issac was not only taken off CPAP, but off oxygen altogether now that his lungs cleared up. He is doing great and she is over the moon and able to hold him. I'm so happy for her, and it reminds me of the pure joy when I held my babies for the first time. We had an interesting conversation with Dr. Kothiala about surrogacy, adoption, and related issues with law and financial concerns. Overall it was a good day for everyone, and tomorrow will be even better. I plan to blow up the internet with pics of Dadima and her grandbabies!