Monday, November 19, 2012

Single parenting sucks

Vinnie: "Could you drop by in the morning on your way home to make sure I wake up for my doctor's appointment so I don't miss it?"

Me: "Sure. But I may punch you in the face just to make myself feel better."

Vinnie: "Okay."

I've tried to muster up more empathy that my never-sick husband has a raging case of what sounds like strep throat and his voice is so shredded he is barely intelligible. Instead I am angry at him for getting sick during such a critical week. I don't know how single parents do it. And single parent's of twins? Dear God...

To add to matters we have the following complications:

1. My son is showing the signs of developing colic right on the 3-6 week post due date timeline. It should be a fun next 2 1/2 months until it naturally abates. I try to take it in stride but there is only so much you can do for the little man and it just sucks.

2. I can take more time off when Tara is discharged for her care and to get them synced back up before returning to work. But there is no way in hell I can do it right before and on Thanksgiving when I work at 911 where we are staffed 24-7 and time off for the holidays during November and December is nothing short of sacred. I would be universally loathed and ostracized at my workplace for the rest of my employment there. If she gets discharged this week I have to find a way to work through Thursday night, even if my husband is still not safe enough past his illness to be around the babies.

3. Utilizing my parents and his parents so much to help us overnight while Vinnie is sick I'm sure is exhausting them, and could cut into prep time for Thanksgiving cooking. Pizza anyone?

4. I am getting mandated to work an extra 4 hours on Thanksgiving day from 7pm to 11pm on top of my regular 8 that night. Oh yeah, and if all goes well tomorrow from the swallow study she could be discharged on Wednesday or Thursday and I'll be awake probably all day at the hospital doing paperwork. If we weren't planning on our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday afternoon anyway I'm pretty sure I would go into thermonuclear meltdown. I would hire some help temporarily but something tells me that is beyond a longshot given the holidays.

5. I haven't been able to see her yesterday and probably not today either. The longer I go without seeing her the more crazy emotional I become. I'm like a walking pressure cooker and seeing her is the only thing that eases the pressure and makes me able to keep going. I picture my husband sleeping soundly through the night with an occasional cough and I want to go over there and smother him with a pillow.

6. I found out my workplace is changing my days off with little warning due to the fact that they put too many people off on the same days and are only just now realizing it since I've come back to work. Stupendous. I'm so close to the top of the seniority list I could lick it, but I'm still going up against two folks just past me who want the same days off.

It seems like every time I tell myself "If I can just get through this week...." that something else piles on top. I'm trying to just focus on what is important...that my daughter is alive and okay and coming home soon even if the week surrounding it is craptastic.

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