Day 46-47: 100th post-a day away from Delhi!

Sorry no pics today, and I apologize in advance for complaining a bunch. To be honest yesterday and today I've been rushed and stressed out getting all final preparations made to leave to Delhi and take care of two babies on a 2 hour schedule with 5 different supplement drops and 3 warm water bottles to administer on a perfect schedule while keeping a sterile environment in a hotel room AND trying to pump. It is overwhelming at times and gives me 1 1/2 hour gaps to get everything else done If the feeding runs smoothly and there is no fussing afterwards when putting them down. Add to that the blaring music from the Ganesh festival at the temple next door and pounding bass all day and it is enough to make my hair fall out. I look at my list of to do's such as "pay hotel bill" or "pick up glycerin suppository prescription for Vivek" and "laundry" and it doesn't look like much, but by the time the day is done I barely get it all done. THe internet went out, the TV went out, the electricity went out, and EVERYTHING is closed for the festival on my last day to get stuff done. I'm frustrated that the pumping takes up so much time with so little payout, especially when I'm stressed. I feel like a bit of a failure in that area because I'm not getting as close to the number of pumps per day as I was in the beginning, but I guess with good reason. I think like a lot of things I can put more focus on it later when their feeding schedule extends.

But what bothers me the most is that the nanny slept through an alarm for a feeding last night at 3am as well as an apnea alarm, so now I don't trust her to wake up so I'm getting less sleep. Fortunately they wake me up so all was good and as usual it was a false apnea alarm because it twisted around to the side. There is a false alarm every few days and more our fault for not securing it perfectly to the diaper. I guess tonight I'll wake up long enough to make sure she's up to feed them then I'll go back to bed. I've realized for my sanity that it is not the end of the world if one person does both feedings and one gets fed 15 min late as a result. They are still largely on the same schedule and it is a reality that comes with twins that I had been reluctant to acknowledge initially. Unless you are Mariah Carey and can affort two full time nannies.

I also busted her turning off the AC in the middle of the night. She claimed the babies would get cold, but the truth is I've checked that extensively because that worried me, and the babies are toasty warm. Priyanka is not used to AC and she is the one that is cold. I ALWAYS wake up and can't sleep if I'm too warm...just ask my husband. She had been told not to do that. She has tried to convince me to use scrunched up burp clothes around their head to position them upright, but sleep positioners caused suffocation death in the US so they've been recalled and can also flatten the backs of their heads. She also thinks mixing in my 10mL of breastmilk with formula will upset their stomachs, even though a neonatal dietician from Parkland who advised me on my formula selection had no issues with it at home. And this morning I found a pile of wet baby clothes she laundered but never put up to dry. I think maybe the sleep deprivation is affecting me and all my negativity is being projected onto the nanny. But after tonight it will probably be just me doing night shift for the babies with some help from the husband and my mother and the help in Delhi will do more during the daytime.

I got way to stressed out trying to figure out a schedule that accomodated 2 1/2 hour feedings, and was unable to find any on the web. I have to leave the room to use the net cause even though I paid for it the signal is so weak in my hotel room since it is in the far corner! I realized that you cannot divide up a 24 hour day into those blocks. I guess the only solution is to reset my iphone timer to 2 1/2 hours at every feeding and mark down the times on my log I created. Without a predictable schedule I just have to rely on others more and a method of communication, but I guess as a Mommy you want a level of control over things and it is hard to trust others. As far as all the supplement drops go I guess I'll just keep with the rough schedule I've already been keeping about when to administer them regardless of if they correlate with a feeding. I do question whether all these drops are necessary, but will get a 2nd opinion in Delhi and a 3rd in the US.

Today and yesterday I haven't taken a moment to enjoy being a Mom, so I need to cuddle and sing to them like I did in the NICU more and not just feed change rinse repeat. But I think things in Delhi will be much more comfortable and less frantic and so I look forward to tomorrow's adventure to finally be staying in a fully stocked home surrounded by the support of my husband's family. The 27^th at the embassy will be completely nuts I'm sure, but I'll do anything to get home! I just hope they don't nickel and dime me with extra charges like everyone here has! It will also help tremendously to have four times the amount of clothing, because the rest was shipped so I do laundry twice per day, and my clothes are washed in regular detergent but the babies are washed separately in Dreft so that is about four loads BY HAND per day. I have a whole new respect for Indian an pioneer women without washers and dryers. And Pampers Swaddler diapers leak for Vivek so he goes through 3 wardrobe changes per day, but I hope that when we switch to the Huggies they'll work better. I bought half and half and used up the Pampers first because the Huggies have the cool color changing stripe that lets you know if their diaper is wet. And figured that I'd rather the NICU use up the less cool diapers first.

Both babies are doing well, and he is less constipated today. I got the suppositories just in case. Wierd that they are on the same formula but he responds to it so differently, but I think he has this entire time but the nurses never mentioned it to me in the NICU. I missed their bath tonight where I had planned for photo ops while Priyanka sponge bathed them, but for good reason! My Mom called so I went into the hallway to video chat. I can't say how much better I feel after unloading a bit of my stress and talking to my Mom. This is hard, and I wish I could do it with my Mom here to reassure me I'm doing a good job but a video chat is the next best thing. I got pretty emotional when we talked about seeing my husband again finally, and am again even as I type this. I'm pretty sure in 2 days I'll be making a big scene at the Delhi airport.

What really sucks is that I won't have internet when I'm in Delhi unless I make a 10 minute walk to the family home from where we are staying. I may still update the blog, I may not. I think I may write posts and then post them all at once when I get a chance, or maybe not until I get them back to the states. But as I'm learning, I'll just have to see how it goes. The babies' care is my top priority and the rest I just do as I can. I can't wait until I'm in Delhi! But most of all I can't wait to see my husband and hope I never go the rest of my life spending that much time apart from him.

Day 41: Last day in NICU!!!

So exciting! It was our babies last day in NICU, and I still found it hard to believe that they are actually handing these babies over to me tomorrow in spite of the several day countdown to that moment. Feeding them is much easier, and Mom has bottle feeding down for both babies just fine. Master Vik has made a colossal weight jump and is just under 2kg by a hair!!! He's got some super chubby cheeks to show for it too...



Those cheeks make me want to kiss and pinch them!

Our nanny Priyanka did not show at 11am as planned, but it turned out to be Dr. Hitesh's mistake who had told her to be at his office at 10am. She was not just prompt, but she had been waiting there since 9am! She stuck around and did a bang up job at the 1pm feeding, then went home and came back for the 5pm. Mom and I decided she deserves to be paid for today because she put in so much extra time. She has been a nanny too many times to name, and has 3 children of her own. Mom asked her and it turns out her husband left her and so she pays $50,000 rupees per year for boarding school for all of them and she works like a dog to pay for it. She makes a lot doing nanny gigs, so she gives that her all. I could tell from the way she handled them that she knows what she is doing, so I may be able to sleep while she cares for them after all.

Tara wondering what life outside of the NICU will be like

It will be rough because until they are both 2kgs we are keeping them on a 2hr feeding schedule, but afterwards will gradually switch them to 3. They also have 5 different oral suspension drops to administer each day so I'll have to take notes and schedule those. I just set my iphone clock to the feeding times.

I've worked my way down all the prep lists, and just finished sterilizing all my silicone nipples so that we will only have to sterilize anything once a day because everything is now pre sterilized. I have enough of the small bottles that my brother supplied me with that we could go two days if we really had to. 


Tomorrow morning we pack up and move to the big room with the extra twin bed and small floor level framed mattress that serves as a giant crib. Dr. Kothiala will loan us some of the plexiglass risers she uses to keep the babies elevated, which we can return before we leave. I've also gotten back my 6 preemie hats that had gotten mixed in with the rest of the baby hats somehow.  I've redone my budget and solved some problems and once we get our new room setup done we'll be ready to go!!! I discussed tomorrow's transition with both babies as you can see, to a mixed reaction.

P.S. As an interesting side note to those who visit the NICU in the future, if you are wondering why there are no suctioning machines, it is because they use manual power! They have a device with a vial in the center to catch the liquid and one tube goes down baby and the other goes right into the nurses mouth! It works just as well, and perhaps even better because you can instantly adjust as needed.



Day 40: 2 days and counting

The excitement is building! Mom had a long morning with the babies while I took care of some things at the hotel and video chatted with my husband. He says he feels 80% recovered, so by his flight on the 24th he should be feeling 100% at this rate.  I'm excited to get flight details confirmed for him, and my father-in-law secured them through his travel agent friend and got us an amazing price!! He'll be in India in Delhi at 12:35am on the 26th. It will be early in the morning, but something tells me I'll be the one pulling night shift with the babies anyway.

We have initially heard that our nanny's name is Priyanka, but then heard that Petra got her and we are getting Ganga instead. Either way she should indeed speak Hindi as requested so at least Mom can communicate with her. If all goes well she will show up tomorrow at 11:00 for bottle feeding practice and discharge instructions. She will work an 8pm-8am shift every night for us starting on discharge day so Mom and I have at least some chance at sleeping.

The Snuzas were clipped onto their diapers and worked perfectly, though I had to go home and google how to shut them off during diaper changes. I have so much more peace of mind with them attached. They met with Dr. Kothiala's approval so I removed them for the time being to save battery power. She asked for the 2nd manual copy we had for her to keep so that she can recommend it to other patients, and took notes on where to purchase and the cost. Glad to know our decision to use them may help other families with higher risk preemies.

Mom and I went to aarti (prayer service) tonight at the temple, and prayed that all goes well with discharge and at home, and that Vinnie travels safely and we are able to go home promptly.  It was a nice temple, but as usual it is not allowed to take pics.  Speaking of pics, I didn't take any of the babies today. I'm a bad Mommy today.  They are growing so fast. He is 1900 grams today and she is 1760, or 4lbs 3oz and 3lbs 14oz. Now when I do kangaroo care their little legs pass my waist. By comparison with most babies they are still tiny, but to me they are huge now!

Signing off...Mom is catching up with all her friends and family tonight and is on the phone with the 7th of her friends. I hear the babies names occasionally and a few English words. Hope she rests up because tomorrow we pack to move rooms, and make our last shopping forays.

Anand NICU Veteran's Advice

Last year during our first attempt, and wonderful couple named Jeff and Michelle befriended us. They were so helpful and reassuring, and gave us some of their leftover food in addition to great advice and reassurance before they left. I was pretty nervous about the egg extraction, but seeing her quick recovery helped me calm down. They wound up being successful on that first try and they had a daughter, who was born at 30 weeks. She found me on Facebook, and upon hearing about our early arrivals she sent me a huge email that eased my mind greatly and prepared me for the NICU in Anand. I have to share the highlights with the blogosphere in the hopes it helps someone else as well to know what to expect.

"We were there for 8 or 9 weeks, I can't remember now but it felt like forever.  Hopefully your babies have gone to Dr. Anita's hospital.  Hers is the best from what we heard.  Dr. Anita is really good, she seemed to be the best Dr over there and her hospital is where you want preemies to go because she has the most experience.  Her hospital is real close to the Rama.  You can go see your babies at any time and we usually went over there about 3 times a day."

"The NICU is small and not the cleanest and I don't think it had air conditioning, they usually had fans on when we were there.  They will make you wash your hands and then use this blue sterile cleansing stuff and then put on some blue or green scrubs to see the babies.  The nurses will fuss at you if your hair is down, so make sure you pin it up or they give you grief."

"When your babies get a couple weeks old, tell Dr. Anita that you want to do 'Kangaroo Care' and the nurses will put the baby on your chest which is really good for bonding and it helps your baby hear your heartbeat and is really good for the babies.  They are funny about men being in the NICU and they used to tell my husband that he had to go out in the hallway when the doctors came in to check on the babies....it's almost like they're back in the 1920's or something."

"There are 2 nurses that speak English....Sandia and Suvarna.  Suvarna may still be only working part time but Sandia is full time.  They can explain everything to you each day but most of the other nurses don't speak English.  Dr. Anita speaks great English but there are 2 other Doctors and their English is very limited. Sandia was our favorite....she's a little nurse...really tiny.  She lives right across from the Rama, so if you ever need her, she can come over to the Rama and help you out.  She checked on our baby every day once we got her out of the NICU. "

"We would go see Dr. Anita everyday in her office to get updates on our daughter.  The best time to meet her was at 7 pm because most of the crowd in the waiting room is gone then.  If you go see her around 11 am, there's a massive crowd in the waiting room.  Ask her tons of questions."

"I think my husband told me that it ended up costing us about $50/day for our daughter to be in the NICU...  If your babies go to Dr. Burien's hospital, I've heard that he charges twice what Dr. Anita charges.  Also...Dr. Burien was Dr. Anita's student.  The hospital would ask for a deposit of about 20,000 rupees every couple of weeks...I think that was $400."

"If your surrogate is pumping milk for you, Hitesh told us that our surrogate would do it for a month (since our daughter was born so early) and that we'd just have to pay for the milk.  Well, we later found out that you have to pay for the surrogate's room at Dr. Anita's hospital and that was pretty expensive.  We had to pay $600 for the surrogate to stay at the hospital for a month plus I think it was $100 for the breast milk.  We just weren't expecting the room that our surrogate stayed in to cost so much....Also, the surrogate will tell you that she wants extra food while she's there pumping milk.  Ours wanted mangos and apples and some other fruit (can't remember) and walnuts.  My husband had to look all over to find the apples since they're shipped in by truck so that was a pain.  Some of the other Indian couples there told me that we 'had' to give our surrogate extra money each day and that we should give her at least $20 a week.  This is not true, so don't believe anyone if they tell you this.  Dr. Anita told us that certain fruit is good for milk production so we just got the fruit that she told us to get.  We weren't expecting to have to go around and buy food....we wanted to concentrate on our baby....so it was a pain to find this out when we got over there.  If you have any problems with your surrogate giving milk or refusing to....then tell Hitesh and he'll get it taken care of."

"Also, the nurses will expect a "tip" when you leave the hospital to come home."

"Uday is a huge help with getting around.  If you have him pick you up from the hospital, ask him to bring you a sterilizer so that you won't have to buy one.  He can also bring you a baby bed and a mosquito net, so ask him for one so you don't have to buy one.  Uday also can do all the running around for the police report info."

"You will see LOTS of nannies in the Rama and they'll be watching you like hawks.  They all will want you to hire them.  From what we heard, Dieksha is the best.  She has experience with preemies and she speaks English.  Her sister is Gungha and she is much younger and doesn't really speak English but she's pretty good with preemies too.  If you guys have to get a nanny, I'd probably try to get Dieksha because everyone seems to think she's the best.  We didn't get a nanny because as soon as we got our daughter out of the NICU, we immediately flew to Mumbai and then back and were gone real fast."

"Uday made everything happen for us real quick.  We didn't bring much cash with us for the trip over but my husband went to the ATM at least once a day and got cash out so that we'd have enough to pay everyone. There is an ATM right under the Rama on the first floor and it let us take out $200 a day, so we did that all the time."   

"If you have a pediatrician picked out in Texas or a neonatologist in Texas, keep their email or phone # handy since you'll probably want to ask them questions.  If you know anyone who is a Doctor in the states....keep their # handy.  We had trouble getting US doctors to talk to us in India because they said it was 'too much of a liability' for them to give us advice while we were in India....so you may want to talk to a US doctor now before you leave and see what advice they can give you."

Thank you so much to Michelle for all her helpful advice and information!