Friday, July 27, 2012

Happy Birthday! I'm a Mommy!

So I guess I'll do this chronologically:

Yesterday I go on the biggest shopping blitz I've ever been on, and bought everything I knew we had to have for our babies. It calms me down significantly, and I got a good start on what we'll need to pack. Obscene amounts of diapers and wipes, and as of this morning our pediatrician hooked me up with two cases of Preemie formula for free by sweettalking the Enfamil and Similac sales reps!!!  I also had a mom of triplets from my Mothers of Multiples Club hooked me up with 30 coupons for formula. This way every day I can make two trips to two stores since there is one coupon per purchase and I'll save tons of money buying our formula gradually with coupons!

Over the course of the day the level headed and reasonable folks in my life calm me down and talk me into not running off to India as soon as I can book a ticket.

The emotional part of me wants to rip their heads off at even the thought of keeping me away from my babies for one instant. But my brain knows that waiting until the babies stabilize and until we are more prepared is the smart and rational thing to do. Damn. But as my brother pointed out, every mistake I make now affects two people.

The facts are that at 28 weeks I can't touch or hold them, and there is nothing that I can do for them that Dr. Anita Kothalia's NICU is not already doing for them. What I can do is make sure I have everything they need to bring with me, and that our home is ready for when they come back to the U.S. I can force myself to go back to work for one week to save up my paid leave time for when I can actually do something. Airfare before August 6th is nearly double the price, and with NICU fees not covered by insurance possibly we are on a tight budget. And as a bonus, I can also have my baby shower! 

The hubby will not travel with me. This journey will have to be alone for the first part, unfortunately. We both know I'm strong enough to handle it. As much as I would like to be surrounded by family, you won't hear me crying about anything not happening like I wanted it to. I have two babies that are alive and should be just fine. NOTHING else matters. I'm strongly considering slapping icing on my baby shower cake I was making and putting a picture of the frosted fantasy piece it would have been next to it. I have better ways to spend my time right now.

The fact is that my husband only has 1 month of paid leave, and he NEEDS to be there for the embassy appointment once they are released from NICU. So he may join me a month later...about a week or two from their NICU release date. He couldn't travel with me anyway due to a lack of foresight with his VISA, so he will reapply for another in my absence and do some final preparations like installing the car seats and such. 

So last night after making this decision we call Dr. Patel. It takes a few tries, but when we get her on the line for a very brief conversation she answers my 4 questions:

1. Is it a complete rupture or slow leak, and how much time does that give us? Almost complete rupture, and will deliver Sunday or Monday. She will check up on her today, but she was having some pain. (That tells me she is probably in labor which means delivery will be sooner)

2. Have they been given steroids and antibiotics already to prepare for birth? Yes. (Big duh because this is standard practice, but I needed to hear it to ease my mind. Thank you Dr. Patel for not sounding annoyed at my question.)

3. Can you make sure that my babies have breast milk? We will pay whatever we need to. Yes.

4. Is there anything else we need to know. Not really.

The conversation was over quickly after that.

This morning I wake up to an email that says:

Dear Emily,



Manju delivered a baby Boy and a Baby Girl. Normal delivey.  Both Manju and babies are fine. Babies with Neonatal Unit. Neonatologist Dr. Anita  cell no +91 982240 27897
Dr. Anita email

Picture attached

My feelings upon reading the email were shock and joy and amazement. Then more shock. I actually missed that there were pictures at first. I have a boy. I have a girl. A son and a daughter. One of each. Everything I ever dreamed of. Tara Shakti and Vivek Arjun! I am so full of happiness, but definitely still in a state of shock. I guess you always picture the moment going differently when you find out this information, but I am about living in the moment and enjoying what it is rather than putting conventional expectations on such an extreme situation.

When I go to wake my very groggy husband, he is so sleepy he has a sense of deja vu that I woke him up last night and already told him they were born. That never happened. I help him wake up and then blurt out he has a son and daughter. He looks overwhelmed and doesn't say much. I show him pictures, and then have to leave to get to my Dr. appt to get my travel immunizations.  He had some time to absorb before he called his parents. I called my parents on the way to the Dr appt.

As far as the pictures go, I stare at them endlessly. I just can't get over those huge mouths and perfect, perfect lips! My children appear to be in ziploc baggies, which initially alarms me. I just found out from my sister in law that this is normal and keeps them warm and helps prevent their nervous systems from reaction to touching.

They are quite messy and a little smushed from delivery, but I can see through all of that and they are the most beautiful things I have ever seen!

So the plan for today is to finish more home preparations, and tomorrow my mother and I are taking my brother up on his offer to return to Austin and meet my nieces. My mother will get more time with her grandchildren, and I will get books and invaluable advice on the NICU.

Monday through Sunday I will go back to work. Blah. But in my off time I will frantically finish preparations! The nursery is only half painted, and I only have boy clothes and two girl outfits!

In the meantime I've made dozens of phone calls and sent dozens of emails, posted pics and the announcement on Facebook, and coordinated the news with my workplace.Announcements and pics are sent out on my baby shower Evite too! I emailed the babies names to Dr. Patel and asked for birth weights, and to please start the birth certificate process.

I plan as much as possible to continue this blog and paint a picture for the many who will be making journeys to the NICU long after I am gone. I sure wish I knew what to expect, but at least maybe I can help others.

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