Day 74: Coming home!

It was a miracle. My husband's amazing cousin Manu shook hands, sweet talked, cajoled and got us two exit VISAS in two hours at the FRRO yesterday! Then we bought plane tickets for late tonight at 2:20am!!! 

I couldn't believe it. Manu had the guys smiling and laughing at jokes. With his lease to prove residency and a copy of her hospital discharge paperwork showing medical issues that  made extra travel problematic, suddenly the road block of the birth state was no more! They actually didn't even bring it up, and Manu said they were very nice men. However the reception guy claimed that because my paperwork wasn't simplified in perfect order and I had extra documents in the stack and some originals instead of copies, that was the reason he had not put me through...which he did not say the previous day at all.  Not very honest, but I've been told to expect as much.

It only took one of the four men we dealt with to provide a roadblock, but with Manu's magic they helped us quickly. They wanted proof of a plane ticket already purchased, but we couldn't do that until the next day when Manu was on a business trip, and we wanted to get it done while he was still there to be a facilitator. However the guy wrote in "ticket confirmed" even when we had no proof!  Manu says this is how Indian Government is, and when you grow up with it you know how to deal with folks to get stuff done. I think if your surrogacy case has any complications like ours did that paying for a facilitator is well worth it, but fortunately we didn't have to because we are related to the miracle man.

This is one hell of a hard way to have a family, but well worth it.

I'm packed and well rested, but have a headache from stressing out about everything that could go wrong and am trying to relax. The final flight home had weighed on my mind from the very first trimester, and I hope that it has been a lot of worry that is mostly unfounded. I wish we had Vinnie with us, but it is just Mom and me working as a team. I may not sleep at all for the next 24-48 hours. But I think about how strong I've been from the years of painful infertility, the year of the police academy while working full time at a stressful job, the trips to Anand and initial failure, then the months of stressful waiting, then finally the scary premature birth and months of NICU and the final journey to Delhi. I'm strong enough to do this one last leg of the journey to bring them home.

Let's hope we get the bassinet seats, so we'll arrive four hours early to the airport. Let's also hope British Airways has the superior customer service to help us through this. I've got to not be so worried about how the babies potential crying will affect other passengers, because there is only so much I can do to prevent it. I'm more worried about their exposure to germs, but the same holds true.

I can't wait to see the joy on the faces of my family meeting their grandchildren for the first time, whom they each played a unique role in helping bring into this world and bring safely home. But most of all I just can't wait to walk in my front door and place them in their beds and take a deep breath and say a prayer of gratitude. I have a son. I have a daughter. I am a mother. I have a family. The biggest dream I ever had for my life has come true, and sharing it with those that I love makes the picture complete.

Day 50: Meeting their Daddy

Last night was rough pulling my first shift with the babies with no help. Mom wanted me to wake her to help but I refused. I think it is better if Vinnie and I do night duty and catch up with sleep during the day when Mom and the new nanny/cook/helper can help out. They covered so that I got a four hour nap this afternoon. I've realized that at night there is enough opportunity to grab sleep, but being able to get right back to sleep is the problem. I'm too attuned to the slightest noise, so I use earplugs so that only real cries get my attention instead of the slightest coo jolting me awake. I wake up for all alarms without a problem though.

Geeta is our helper during the day, and I knew she used to work at a hospital but that is all I knew about her. It turns out that I love her to death! While Mom was at the dentist I decided to show her how I changed and sponge bathed Tara, then supervise her while she did Vivek. When she laid hands on him it was like baby wizardry, and I could tell from how confidently she handled him that she knew exactly what she was doing and could teach me a thing or two. She did a very vigorous coconut oil massage on him and he was loving it. He cooed and was wide eyed and alert as she firmly but carefully rubbed all over him. I felt like Tara got shortchanged. It turns out she used to be the one to cut the umbilical cord and give babies their first bath, so it is her area of expertise. In India they believe in vigorous massage for babies to help build strong bones. I don't know if there is any truth to that, but I know that the massage seemed to do him good and is recommended by neonatologists. After seeing her work her magic and sterilize the baby equipment and do all the baby laundry I was so relaxed and confident in her that I laid down for a long nap while Mom returned to help with the next two feedings.



Vivek relaxing after his massage

Shalini is working on getting us a neonatologist appointment on Friday, by the way. Everything else is organized and waiting for Vinnie to arrive, so the rest of the day was spent eating wonderful meals they brought over to us and waiting for the flight to arrive.

Manu and Samahita drove me to the airport while Mom pulled the late shift with the babies, since his flight arrived at 12:50am and the babies ate at 1am. I anxiously waited at the exit while Manu and Samahita made rounds in the car because you weren't allowed to park. After a long wait and becoming worried maybe he had missed his flight I see my husband's head in the crowd past some Indian Air Force soldiers in camoflauge and turbans. I shove my way through the crowd and greet him, crying hard and making a big scene. I have no words for how happy I am to see him other than it feels like I have the missing piece of myself back and I am whole again. He makes me a better person, and none of this picture has been complete without him here to share it with.

We drive home and the big moment is truly wonderful, and we were so happy that Mom and Manu and Samahita were able to share it. Vinnie was his usual quiet self, but you could easily tell how moved he was. He just sat perfectly motionless and stared endlessly at them. He held Vivek first, who had been wide awake for two hours waiting to meet his Daddy. He stared right back at him and they sized each other up. As he held Tara his eyes got a little red and he closed them and raised her up to his heart, and I know he was silently thanking the universe that we have finally been so blessed.

He is completely inexperienced with babies, so as Mom went to bed I realized I had to give impromptu bottlefeeding and burp and diaper change lessons. I hope I am a good teacher, but there is some awkwardness as Vinnie tries to analyze every angle and movement I make to figure out the formula in his head. I told him by this time tomorrow it would be far easier. I know it will be a long night, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow. In the middle of the night as I am exhausted and Vinnie is restless and awake I pawn off our restless son on him and beg him to hold him so he'll be quiet and I can grab at least one hour of sleep. I finally slept, and  I imagined the two of them had a great time just getting to know one another.

Daddy holding Vivek for the first time



Daddy holding Tara for the first time



Day 49: Delhi bound!

Today was a hectic travel day, but with such a big payoff. The nanny made it up to us in the morning by sticking around when she could see how frantic final packing was. It took longer than I'd planned and I was sweating like a pig! She even took the wooden slope risers I'd borrowed from the NICU to prop up the mattresses they sleep on and took them back to save us the trip. Indrajeet showed up on time and I took some last pics of Anand, glad I am NEVER coming back.

As for the long 1 1/2 hour ride to Ahmedabad on the expressway, the babies LOVED it. I knew that they would, but didn't know just how much. Vivek slept so peacefully I wanted to check for breathing but then remembered we have apnea alarms. Even when the road got pretty bumpy including driving over cabbages from a giant truck flipped over that had been full of them they seemed soothed by the bumps. I was quite stressed throughout the airport portions because I don't like them being around that many people who could pass on germs and I was so worried something could go wrong. I was snippy with Mom and felt bad about it. It's a lot of pressure and scary for a new Mom.

Dadima and Vivek on the plane in the row behind me

Tara checking out the aisle seat



Miss Tara prefers the window seat

 The counter lady took her time but finally got us all 4 boarding passes. She got us two rows to ourselves so Mom and I would have plenty of room, and the plane being mostly empty was a big bonus. No extra charge on Indigo for checking 3 bags, and we had the carriers and the baby beds as carry on's as well as Mom's purse and my diaper bag. They ran the carriers through the X-ray machine so Mom and I each carried a baby through the body check portion. Then you get the carriers back but during takeoff and landing they stow them in overhead bins and you have to hold the babies. They loved the plane ride, though Vivek cried a bit. I was so worried about takeoff and landing, but the pacifiers did their magic and the babies' ears popped. Tara would pause briefly and then suck rapidly so it seemed she figured out the formula to ease any ear discomfort. Not a peep or cry out of them due to ear popping, so that eases my mind for the international flight home.

We did two feeds in the air, and fortunately I'd packed many extra bottles ready to mix so that we would be good until about 8pm and could hang out at the Narang household for a while if we wanted to. Once we landed, I changed them on the seat while everyone exited the plane and we were ready to go. Unfortunately we had to board a crowded bus last for the ride to the terminal. At the last minute folks volunteered to give up their seats, but the bus had already started moving and I quickly decided a low center of gravity was the best solution. People stared at me but I didn't care. I planted both babies on the open floor of the bus, got down on my knees in a wide stance, then braced both carriers with my arms. I leaned into every turn and the bus ride was a cinch.

The Delhi airport had a baggage porter who was a huge help to us and I carried both carriers. After a brief wait I spotted Mitlesh Auntie and Mon Uncle. It was a happy greeting for sure, and we all piled into the car for the drive home. They once again LOVED the car ride. I caught Mom comparing my babies to monkeys again when talking to Mitlesh Auntie and we all had a good laugh.

Hanging out on Mon Uncle's bed

Being back in Delhi and walking into the Narang family home was the next best thing to being back in the USA. Tons of wonderful family so happy to see us and oohing and aahing over how cute the babies are. A beautiful meal on the table of the best food I've had since I've been here...with bartha of course. Ironically the cook and helpers names are Tara and Savita! I had not seen Minnie or her son Ujjawal or daughter Shambavi in 9 years, and he is in college now! The only issue was that Madhav had a fever and cough and was sick, so that caused a lot of anxiety for me but this was a temporary and unvoidable stop. He is also hard to control, but everyone teamed up to keep him away from the babies and no one who had touched Madhav (read everyone) touched the babies except cousin Minnie who washed her hands before she helped feed Vivek while I was at our house unpacking and setting things up. I walked back to the house and it only took me 5 minutes! Mitlesh Auntie and Mon Uncle plan to drop by and visit all the time so the babies will be entertaining company and building their fan club.

Back out the Narang house while I left to set up house, the babies hung out. Despite the lovely living area the babies hung out in the same room everyone else does...Mitlesh Auntie and Mon Uncle's bedroom. I placed them side by side on the bed on a sloped pillow, and I'm pretty sure they were looking at each other for a moment or two.

Our new pad is INCREDIBLE!!! I can't believe we are staying somewhere this nice the next few weeks. It is adorable and the family went far overboard in getting it set up for us. They brough Manu's refridgerator from work and that and the pantries they stocked completely! I suspect they may have bought the microwave and brought in a TV. They had cases of bottled water in the kitchen along with bowls and baskets of fruits and vegetables, fresh sheets on the beds, and the place had been cleaned from top to bottom. Here is a video of the lovely home we are staying at, which happens to be across the street from a lovely park.

The evening concluded with a lovely dinner followed by birthday cake for Mon Uncle and everyone gathered around singing. I asked if smashing cake on Mon Uncles face is an Indian custom or tradition. The answer was no, so I guess everyone is just mean. Mom started it.

Day 46-47: 100th post-a day away from Delhi!

Sorry no pics today, and I apologize in advance for complaining a bunch. To be honest yesterday and today I've been rushed and stressed out getting all final preparations made to leave to Delhi and take care of two babies on a 2 hour schedule with 5 different supplement drops and 3 warm water bottles to administer on a perfect schedule while keeping a sterile environment in a hotel room AND trying to pump. It is overwhelming at times and gives me 1 1/2 hour gaps to get everything else done If the feeding runs smoothly and there is no fussing afterwards when putting them down. Add to that the blaring music from the Ganesh festival at the temple next door and pounding bass all day and it is enough to make my hair fall out. I look at my list of to do's such as "pay hotel bill" or "pick up glycerin suppository prescription for Vivek" and "laundry" and it doesn't look like much, but by the time the day is done I barely get it all done. THe internet went out, the TV went out, the electricity went out, and EVERYTHING is closed for the festival on my last day to get stuff done. I'm frustrated that the pumping takes up so much time with so little payout, especially when I'm stressed. I feel like a bit of a failure in that area because I'm not getting as close to the number of pumps per day as I was in the beginning, but I guess with good reason. I think like a lot of things I can put more focus on it later when their feeding schedule extends.

But what bothers me the most is that the nanny slept through an alarm for a feeding last night at 3am as well as an apnea alarm, so now I don't trust her to wake up so I'm getting less sleep. Fortunately they wake me up so all was good and as usual it was a false apnea alarm because it twisted around to the side. There is a false alarm every few days and more our fault for not securing it perfectly to the diaper. I guess tonight I'll wake up long enough to make sure she's up to feed them then I'll go back to bed. I've realized for my sanity that it is not the end of the world if one person does both feedings and one gets fed 15 min late as a result. They are still largely on the same schedule and it is a reality that comes with twins that I had been reluctant to acknowledge initially. Unless you are Mariah Carey and can affort two full time nannies.

I also busted her turning off the AC in the middle of the night. She claimed the babies would get cold, but the truth is I've checked that extensively because that worried me, and the babies are toasty warm. Priyanka is not used to AC and she is the one that is cold. I ALWAYS wake up and can't sleep if I'm too warm...just ask my husband. She had been told not to do that. She has tried to convince me to use scrunched up burp clothes around their head to position them upright, but sleep positioners caused suffocation death in the US so they've been recalled and can also flatten the backs of their heads. She also thinks mixing in my 10mL of breastmilk with formula will upset their stomachs, even though a neonatal dietician from Parkland who advised me on my formula selection had no issues with it at home. And this morning I found a pile of wet baby clothes she laundered but never put up to dry. I think maybe the sleep deprivation is affecting me and all my negativity is being projected onto the nanny. But after tonight it will probably be just me doing night shift for the babies with some help from the husband and my mother and the help in Delhi will do more during the daytime.

I got way to stressed out trying to figure out a schedule that accomodated 2 1/2 hour feedings, and was unable to find any on the web. I have to leave the room to use the net cause even though I paid for it the signal is so weak in my hotel room since it is in the far corner! I realized that you cannot divide up a 24 hour day into those blocks. I guess the only solution is to reset my iphone timer to 2 1/2 hours at every feeding and mark down the times on my log I created. Without a predictable schedule I just have to rely on others more and a method of communication, but I guess as a Mommy you want a level of control over things and it is hard to trust others. As far as all the supplement drops go I guess I'll just keep with the rough schedule I've already been keeping about when to administer them regardless of if they correlate with a feeding. I do question whether all these drops are necessary, but will get a 2nd opinion in Delhi and a 3rd in the US.

Today and yesterday I haven't taken a moment to enjoy being a Mom, so I need to cuddle and sing to them like I did in the NICU more and not just feed change rinse repeat. But I think things in Delhi will be much more comfortable and less frantic and so I look forward to tomorrow's adventure to finally be staying in a fully stocked home surrounded by the support of my husband's family. The 27^th at the embassy will be completely nuts I'm sure, but I'll do anything to get home! I just hope they don't nickel and dime me with extra charges like everyone here has! It will also help tremendously to have four times the amount of clothing, because the rest was shipped so I do laundry twice per day, and my clothes are washed in regular detergent but the babies are washed separately in Dreft so that is about four loads BY HAND per day. I have a whole new respect for Indian an pioneer women without washers and dryers. And Pampers Swaddler diapers leak for Vivek so he goes through 3 wardrobe changes per day, but I hope that when we switch to the Huggies they'll work better. I bought half and half and used up the Pampers first because the Huggies have the cool color changing stripe that lets you know if their diaper is wet. And figured that I'd rather the NICU use up the less cool diapers first.

Both babies are doing well, and he is less constipated today. I got the suppositories just in case. Wierd that they are on the same formula but he responds to it so differently, but I think he has this entire time but the nurses never mentioned it to me in the NICU. I missed their bath tonight where I had planned for photo ops while Priyanka sponge bathed them, but for good reason! My Mom called so I went into the hallway to video chat. I can't say how much better I feel after unloading a bit of my stress and talking to my Mom. This is hard, and I wish I could do it with my Mom here to reassure me I'm doing a good job but a video chat is the next best thing. I got pretty emotional when we talked about seeing my husband again finally, and am again even as I type this. I'm pretty sure in 2 days I'll be making a big scene at the Delhi airport.

What really sucks is that I won't have internet when I'm in Delhi unless I make a 10 minute walk to the family home from where we are staying. I may still update the blog, I may not. I think I may write posts and then post them all at once when I get a chance, or maybe not until I get them back to the states. But as I'm learning, I'll just have to see how it goes. The babies' care is my top priority and the rest I just do as I can. I can't wait until I'm in Delhi! But most of all I can't wait to see my husband and hope I never go the rest of my life spending that much time apart from him.

It didn't work. Decision Day.

The "I'm sorry but the pregnancy test is negative email" was received by my father-in-law first because he was up checking his email obsessively all morning long waiting for news. I was terrified I would get the email at work and freak out in front of everyone. Luckily it came late so it was on my day off. He called us to say how sorry he was, and I don't remember what I said. I checked my email and saw it. I woke up Vinnie and told him. He hugged me and told me he was sorry. I don't remember too much after that because I did freak out, but it came on slowly. But I mean I really freaked out. I cried so hard it was painful. I cried so hard for so many hours that my nose bled. This seemed like all hope was lost. I called my best friend and later my mother and must have been unintelligible the entire time. I think I called them several times throughout the day.  I said harsh things I knew I didn't mean at the time. I was very angry at God, and I think it is okay to say what you feel when you are in that much pain because God can handle it. I love them both so much for letting me grieve for lost hope.

But that same day the inevitable decision had to be made. Because I may lose it from time to time, but I solve problems fast and have to find hope right away. I had to have a back up plan and decide that day, even though others cautioned me to take my time and nothing had to be decided right now when I was feeling that badly. 

I didn't have enough money to go to India again. If I ever had a girl she could share my genetic link to PCOS and someday wind up in a situation as painful as the one I was going through now. My eggs have always failed me. It was time to let it go.

You would think someone who is 100% dedicated to adopting a child someday would have no problem letting go and choosing a donor egg, but I was surprised by how much emotion I had about it. Because it was a concscious choice between my egg and a donor egg where I played a role in conceiving a child, it was different somehow. I had to let go fully that I would never have a child that shared my genes, something most folks get automatically and take for granted. It is not selfish to grieve for that loss, even if deep down you know it doesn't really matter. I do believe nurture is more important than nature, but nature does have a strong role. It was hard to accept I would know next to nothing about this donor, and forever wonder if my child was displaying similar qualities to a perfect stranger. With adoption you know that it is two perfect strangers and not just one, and I think it might be easier to resign yourself to that if you see adoption as the only choice for you....but what do I know  cause I haven't done that yet either. It's hard to describe, but I had to grieve for that loss.  But somehow it made it easier to understand why adopted kids are often so curious about the biological parents, something that never made sense to me when they had awesome adoptive parents. I think I understand that a little better now.

It was a no brainer though that I would choose one of Dr. Patel's Indian donors, instead of trying to get a caucasian one that looked like me for much more hassle and expense with the higher risk of shipping frozen embryos. I don't care all that much about looking like me, and would love to have children that are 100% tied to an Indian heritage instead of my bum eggs with my deathly pale complexion.  I didn't expect some giant donor packet like you would get at a US clinic that details every tiny thing about the potential egg donor to choose from. But months later when we got three profiles to choose from, I was still suprised at how little info there was. We did get a picture of each, and a very basic profile. They all completed the highest grade of primary school and were married housewives with at least one child and ideal health histories. But what did I expect from a female donor in a rural area of a third world? She wasn't going to be a doctor or lawyer or she wouldn't be doing this.These were opportunities that she would probably never have. I wondered if there really were family medical conditions if they would be properly diagnosed and treated by someone living in this condition in this part of the world living on so little money with less access to medical care.

It felt so superficial to choose based upon the picture, but that is what choice we had. If one were taller I would have chosen her, but none were taller than my short self unfortunately. Hopefully my 6ft tall hubby will give our kids a few extra inches. I am happy to say that the donor we chose did have the most kids to support, so I feel like our money did the most good. It feels so bizarre to make a decision like this, and nothing prepares you for it.

I respect the confidentiality of our donor, so I have a modified version of the pic here that I'm sure will keep her confidentiality cause you could never tell from the original. The pic they sent is typical of an Indian woman, with a plain outfit and no jewelry save a mangalsutra that means she is married, and certainly no makeup. Hair pulled back, no smile, and a demure body posture. She looked far older than she was, I'm sure from raising several kids and living  a hard life.

Let's face facts, if it's my daughter she'll have some big old Texas hair and red lipstick when she is that age. So I photoshopped her a bit on InStyle Magazine Hollywood Makeover website, and it helped me see what she'd look like a little more "done up." Believe me...I know how superficial this sounds. But it helped me make a decision because looks was pretty much all I had. She had some stronger looking Michelle Obama arms going on too, so that told me she might be stronger and healthier with a slightly sturdier looking frame than the other two. A superficial decision when I only had superficial criteria. Sigh.

Below is the sum total of what info you get from Dr. Patel on an egg donor. I changed some details up.

Physical characteristics  

Name :  B M R 

Age :                22 yrs.

Weight :            46 kg.

Height :             5’2”

Complexion :     Fair

Cast     :           Hindu

Personal Characteristics 

Marital Status :             Married

Education :                   10^th std. School

Occupation :                 House wife 

Personal Health History  

Medical Problem :        Nil

Blood Transfusion :       Nil

Surgeries :                    Nil

Allergies :                     Nil

Medication :                 Nil 

Family History 

Any diseases in the family – diabetes, blood pressures)

Parents :           Nil

Siblings :           Nil 

Fertility History 

Number of Children :    1 - Normal delivery

Children Details :          1 Boy (3 yrs. old children)

MTP                :          No

Miscarriages :               No

Examination & Investigation :

USG :

Breast :                         Nil

Diagnostic :                   Nil

HIV & HbSAg :           Negative

VDRL              :           Negative

So nothing else to say on the egg donor decision. We had to wait a while for the cycle and the dreaded 2 week wait. So I'll just post some more pics I took and found on the web from Delhi for police and fire stuff. Since I work in emergency services I have an interest in that sort of thing and tried to get several pics of those.

 

 





Eggs Extraction/Delhi trip

I remember it went something like this. I had 9 eggs. They were only able to extract 6. Guess the rest got stuck. Only 5 fertilized. Of those only 4 grew well in 3 days. I get an email that all 4 were place in the surrogate, who rested in the hospital after that for the dreaded 2 week wait. I had transferred the $500 egg freezing charge early in my naivete thinking we would have leftovers. (Used that as a credit on the 2nd attempt with egg donor) When we are home I'll find out that 0 implanted and she did not get pregnant. I'll talk about that later, but the word disappointment doesn't cover it. .

The extraction was probably like it is in the US, save the shared operating room with another patient and that you tip the nurses. I have had plenty of surgeries, but when I saw the lady knocked out in the stirrups getting an egg extraction and realized that was about to be me I did freak a little bit and some tears leaked out of the corner of my eye. I was ticked at myself because I just made it through the police academy without crying, though puking was involved on the worst nights. But the anesthesiologist was so nice and sweet to me. He knocked me out with ketamine immediately, and I went to a happy happy place down a tunnel with bright lights where you could taste all the colors of the rainbow. The procedure only took 10-15 minutes but in my mind it took 30 seconds. I woke up with no pain, but wishing I could go back to the happy land of rainbows a little bit instead of the small waiting area on the comfy stretcher. My husband did later tell me they wheeled me out still in the stirrups, but fortunately no one else's husband was waiting that day for the showing. But remember, I was in happy land at the time and frankly if it gets me a baby I could have cared less and sold tickets. Unfortunately it did not get us a baby with my eggs, but it was something I had to do to finally accept that I'll never have a child with my eyes, smile, and belligerent personality!

A couple I meet in the hotel (whose baby was born last month I later heard) were feeling well enough to travel the next day, so I asked Dr. Patel and Dr. Hitesh and they said if I felt up to it we could. It was a little painful riding in the car with all the bumps, but it was well worth it to leave Anand early and stay in Delhi with family so that we could finally see them again. This was the best part of the trip, and totally unexpected. Vinnie and I had a great talk on the plane and were able to let go of some of the difficulties of living such separate lives the past year, and looked forward together towards finally having a family.


Art feature at Delhi airport-all hand symbols have meanings



Cool planter at Delhi airport


Before I got sick at the tail end, I did get a little touristy and walk around with Vinnie and take some pics. That part was fun, but I was not feeling all that well and whatever bug his family got I got much worse and got even sicker on the way home. I don't recommend to anyone flying with stopped up ears, because mine were damaged temporarily but could have caused permanent damage if it had been worse.


Mitlesh Auntie takes me to see the monkeys!!!

  

My husband's cousin Manu's wife Shalini Narang runs her own fashion design shop on the top story of their home. I took pics of all her beautiful fashions.   http://www.shalininarang.com/index.html

 

 

I walk around the neighborhood and take some pics.

 

 

Mitlesh Auntie takes us to two temples. It is my first time visiting the golden temple that I had seen in the distance. It is a Muslim temple, and you keep your head covered at all times and cannot take any pictures inside. The same rule for pictures at any temple, but if you google you can find some heathens who broke the rules.  
 When at the Lakshmi temple on the right I am sick and my nose is running constantly. Lucky for me because I find myself overwhelmed with emotion or leftover hormones and very tearful. I am unable to hold it in but try to disquise it. We make offerings to specific Gods and Goddesses, and I'm sure she is offering prayers for our success. I am stricken with thoughts of how much is riding on this, and how I'll ever recover if this doesn't work. I'm not sure if we have enough money to try again. 

Mitlesh Auntie keeps my spirits up, and I make an absolute pig out of myself eating the incredible food cooked by their amazing cook Gopal.  At least one of us likes to eat. She takes me shopping in an older area to buy a nose pin, which of course I promptly lose on the plane. Here is my favorite photo from the trip. Very artsy of me. 

My husband's cousin's daughter, which I think makes her a 2nd niece or something, is an expert at shopping and takes us to the most touristy area at Janpath to go shopping for souvenirs for my mother. It is as fun as I remembered, but again I tell myself I'll shop on my trip back aside from this small little foray.

On my last day I decide to keep with tradition and get some henna done. It doesn't stay on my hands all that well for some reason, so no after photos. But the during photos are nice. I was feeling so sick and look awful, but the artist was very good.

 

 
One final tip for traveling to India. Security is tight at airports and they don't mess around. ARRIVE EARLY!!!! Expect to go through multiple checkpoints and X-rays. Lots and lots of people stamping stuff. And most important because it could have caused us to miss our flight: HAVE A PRINTOUT that proves you have a flight. You have to get inside to get the boarding pass, so if you don't have one printed out then you better have a printed itinerary that is official looking.