Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Day 42: Discharge day!!!

This day has been absolutely overwhelming!  I cannot believe they are actually at the hotel and mine to take care of. I'm feeling outnumbered even though at the moment there are 3 of us (including the professional nanny) and two of them. My mind has been racing all day trying to stay on top of what to do next. I'm sure if I was at home with all my stuff and perfect setup and devices and gadgets and phone and resources and nurse line AND HUSBAND I would be much more relaxed.

The hotel staff was nice enough to have four dudes help carry our stuff to our new room this morning so I got it set up to my liking. It isn't home, but it will do for 6 days.

I'd seen others discharged so I knew it would take a while. First you talk with Dr. Kothiala and get basic discharge instructions, and since I have been around here for a while they mostly consisted of what meds and supplements to administer and when. She also wrote me a prescription to fill in case I needed it for a few things. Figuring out when to give what dosages of the calcium, iron, folic acid, multivitamin, and domperidone drops took some doing but I wrote it on some hotel stationary and coordinated it with certain feedings to make it part of the routine. We have to go to the retinal surgeon for follow up tomorrow and I'll fill those prescriptions. Thursday we have to pack for the friend of Vinnie's cousin Manu who is picking up less essential luggage and shipping it to Delhi for us so we can fly light. Then back to Dr. Kothiala on Friday for follow up and to get two letters for permission to fly in case Tara is under 2kgs and a letter to their new pediatrician/neonatologist in Delhi "introducing" them as well as copies of all her medical records for the both of them.

After seeing the doctor, I had to go upstairs and pay surprise medication fees, then some more lab fees downstairs. I ran to the hotel with all their stuff and supplies and the two wooden risers they loaned us so that they can sleep with their heads elevated. We'll return the latter before we leave. Then back to the NICU after I secured a tuk-tuk to take us for the very short drive to Rama. Then we went in to see Dr. Kothiala for one last checkup before we left. She was tickled at the lovely "graduation" outfits I had for both of them. I bought them special at a store that sells doll clothes! She thought it was so cute she took a picture.

Then the short walk to the tuk-tuk with precious cargo. Mom had us stop at the Ganesh mandir in front of Rama just outside the elevator and offer blessings before we walked in.

Once inside the room I laid them down and tried to warm them up because I can't seem to figure out how to make the AC not blow so darn cold. Priyanka figured it out later for me. I changed them out of their NICU outfits into a little monkey outfit to make Mom happy and a pink ensemble for the little lady. They looked adorable and I was thrilled to have them out of their boring Indian tie on outfits they have worn every day up until now.  I promised Vivek to never dress him in pink again. I didn't do a very good job dressing them but I know it will get easier. I hate to admit my hands were shaking a bit because all the nerves were settling in. The silence of no beeping is shocking to the system. They seem to have adjusted better than me.
My little monkey man

Tara loves her new girly clothes

Tara trying to leave and go back to NICU
So none of my nightmares came true where I couldn't make a bottle. We got them right back on the NICU feeding schedule, and until they are bigger we'll stick with 2 hr feedings. I'm so glad my brother gave me those small bottles because I could bring so many that I don't spend half my day washing and sterilizing. I have changed Mr. Vivek two times already today, once because I didn't catch his pee mid diaper change...again. The other one was due to a diaper leak.

The silence between feedings is deafening. I keep thinking I should be doing something. I can't fathom sleeping but I know at some point I'll have to. So far the apnea alarms work great, and I've had a few false alarms but learned how to attach them to the diaper better. I know it is the only way I'll be able to sleep.

So many thoughts race through my head and my confidence is like a roller coaster. But I look at them and bond in a way I haven't been able to before. They are really mine. I keep repeating that but it still seems so impossible that the dream is alive and happening right now.

It is now 11pm and I'm going to try to sleep. Tara just had the oddest feed I've seen so far, and just about spit all the milk across the room. I've never seen her refuse to suck like that. She was NOT having it but we managed to get some down her. I've also never realized up until now how much these little ones toot. It turns out with all the beeping monitors and alarms in the NICU I couldn't hear it before. So I'll sleep now. In theory...

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